I was just driving home from a meeting, thinking about all the little things we still have to get done before we leave for the Turn Your Pain Into Art tour. Order laminates, finalize the set, practice my vocals, pack everything I own in case I need it….all those little things were feeling like a lot.
….I heard myself sighing out loud. I started to feel deflated, and a little discouraged. I thought, “I guess this is just how it’s gonna have to be before we leave. I guess I’ll just have to hold my breath till our first show. Here we go.”
In a matter of seconds, I had taken my to-do list and turned it into a reason to check out, to not show up fully for my own life. To grin and bear it until tour began, when I could finally exhale.
-I used to hold my breath when I was a teenager, counting down the days until I could move out.
-I held my breath waiting for our first record deal to come along and make us “successful.”
-I held my breath on wayyyy to many tours, waiting for the moment I could come home and get some “me-time”.
….And here I am, doing it again, only this time it’s waiting for tour to start, not for it to end.
No, thank you.
I have a whole beautiful week of LIFE between now and then, and I don’t intend to miss it. I will not be checking out until we hit that stage in Houston next Thursday evening. I will be present today, tomorrow, and every tomorrow after that.
I hope you choose to do the same.